When i look at this site's statistics, i see that i get a few visits. But i haven't gotten any feedback yet from the people who read my blog. Please leave a comment or email me! Id love to have conversations! Tell me anything, what your greatest dreams/fears/goals/passions are in life! Or how you came across my website, or what you want me to write about!
thank you :)
How to be good with people despite being an introverted socially awkward quiet kid who's too ugly to be bad at conversation and still have a social life
A hard question to answer, and even when answered the hardest answer to carry out. Well, for me anyway. Plus, I really need to know how to not be boring. I'm an undeniably boring person. I don't know if my true self is boring or if i'm concealing it.. either way, I am utterly boring.. did i mention how boring i am? i am 10000% more articulate and colourful online, just fyi..
post is under construction!
1. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, JUST FORCE YOURSELF OUT THERE
Force yourself to speak first when you encounter new opportunities. I used to be outgoing and social when I was young, and as I recall things, my "trick" (back then apart of my natural habits) was to speak first. People tend to be nicer than you give them credit for. Chances are they're shy like you.
2. BE INTERESTING
I am personally really boring, or maybe i'm too scared to open up, or there's nothing i can open up about because of how bland I am. I dont know.. but regardless, try to be interesting okay?! I mean I suck at this, but a GOOD TIP if you ever run out of conversation items, simply ask them something! People can go on forever about themselves! Well, most people anyway. If you were to find someone like me this might be awkward, since there's nothing much to say about me.
A list of questions to ask when you've run out of conversation (questions that people tend to expand on so it won't have to be awkward):
- Do you have any siblings?
- What are you studying?
- I notice that you ______ (are wearing an apple watch, have red nail polish, have blue eyes, etc).
- Do you watch any tv shows? What are they? Any recommendations?
- what are your favorite songs?
- Who's your favorite actor/dancer/author/painter/teacher/person?
3. REVEAL YOUR TRUE SELF
if you truly want to become good with people, authenticity is key. I mean, this is a step I haven't conquered yet, but I think it is the final step for me. When you expose your quirks or oddities, it shows that you're human. Try cracking jokes, unless you're not about jokes.. Go on tangents about stuff you're passionate about. If you notice they're repelled by your true self, they're not worth conversing with anyway (despite your lonely soul craving a friend).
When i was in grade 4 i found out a girl called me weird. It struck me hard and made me question my coolness and entire being. It kind of stuck with me for a while, and made me quite self conscious.
When I was in grade 5, there was this girl who was an amazing athlete who I thought was so cool yet intimidating. Yet today, more than 5 years later we're friends.
Give people the benefit of the doubt, and give yourself the benefit of the doubt too....
I'm feeling well physically since i finally started to exercise (this week was spring break for me, so i had lots of free time), however I am now stressed since my spring break is coming to an end, yet I barely started all my schoolwork and extracurricular work. So mentally, im feeling unwell. However, this is all my fault, and i have procrastinated once again. well whatever, i deserve a good spring break, right? this break was quite replenishing, i feel renewed since i was able to sleep in everyday until noon (apparently some teens are able to sleep until the afternoon, so noon is already quite modest, ok??), got to meet up with friends once, and spent lots of alone time, and as previously mentioned, i finally got off my lazy butt and exercised!! hopefully i'll have the determination and persistence to continue exercising during school, since i'll be much busier.
i hope you're treating yourself correctly, and if not for your own benefit, for that of those that love you.
Although it's been almost a month since I last posted, I am okay, and still planning on continuing this blog. So for whoever it is that visited my page like 20 times, don't worry ;) (yes, i see the stats of visitors to my lonely site).
I love my mom so much. She has done so much for me, and everything that i've done for her is literally negligible in comparison. In fact, there can't even BE a comparison, she's just sacrificed so much, and gave so much of herself just to make me happy and give me the best life I can have. But i guess this is true for most parents, so i shouldn't beat myself up about it. But i just can't help but feel sad or guilty whenever i think about all the sacrifices and love and money and time she devoted to me. Like, even when strangers hold the door open for me, or some other kind gesture I feel like I've taken advantage of them, and here's a lovely woman who has basically devoted her life to make mine the best it can be.
Although you may think this is an exaggeration (or not), I can assure you that it is not. My mother is the most loving mother in the entire universe. Even when i was a baby she would randomly get paranoid overnight and wake up to check if i was still breathing (and yes, i would be silently sleeping in my little crib), and when i was like 2 and had to be left with my grandparents, she cried almost every night over the fact that she was not with me. This woman loves me more than anyone can possibly love someone, and to think that there were times where I intentionally provoked her, or was disobedient, or even made her cry just kills me.
My mom says multiple times how my life is her life, and even if she doesn't say so explicitly i would be able to decipher such message based on her actions. It pains her to see me in pain, it stresses her to see me in stress, and it kills her to see me beating myself up over my mistakes or failures. I wish I can constantly treat myself better just so she can be at peace, as my life is truly hers. That is why it is my goal to make myself happy, so she can be too. This may sound dumb, but regardless it would be a win-win situation. If i am happy, i am happy, and if i am happy, she will be too.
how will i ever find someone who can even love me half as much as my mom loves me? I think i'd rather spend my whole life with her, but i also want to have a family of my own. How do people do this whole dating thing? I think i have trust issues, im not sure, it's just how in the freaking world will i ever find someone who can even compare to the unconditional love that i am spoiled with from my mom?
well, shit, me too.
but guess what, its okayyy, everything will be fine! breath in and out, relax... i mean, chances are you're soooo busy because of yourself, like all the plans or classes that you've imposed upon yourself. so if you're feeling overwhelmed, let yourself take a breather, and think about what you can do to decrease the stress and business. for me, i have 3 extracurricular classes going on (all of which require lots of work, and one of them requires lots of catching up and extra learning b/c i did not have a strong base in that class), and school (with about 2 pretty intense courses atm), all at the same time. i am absolutely tired. even when i am not doing tiring tasks (for example spending a day procrastinating), i still feel tired due to stress and acknowledgement of having a shitload of work waiting for me.
but its all okay because if its not meant to be, its not meant to be.
just like how not everyone is albert einstein, not everyone can deal with lots of work successfully.
so accept who you are
"we dont see things as they are,
we see things as we are"
"the secret of joy is the mastery of pain"
just stop it! i mean i was listening to some random music album with a dark moody atmosphere, and whilst reading the comments i see "depression for beginners :)" as the top comment. UM.. what?! so depression is now something people try to obtain? there are "beginners" in depression? and yes i know this is 90% just an internet troll, or a tasteless joke, but regardless, tumblr and instagram and much of the artsy aesthetic cool kids platforms and communities are infested with depression and anxiety posts. they all romanticize depression and feelings like being a failure, motivating young and impressionable children who seek coolness to adopt such self-destructive thoughts. i guess im so uptight and upset by this because i might've been influenced by all this, and maybe all of these posts contributed to my now legitimate chronic stress and frequent anxiety. however, im hoping it is only because of exam season.. so much stressss
honestly, me too. but its okay. even though im crying as im typing this, we will be okay. and if you're perfectly fine right now, please don't read this, theres no point. but hey, its okay, even if it seems like your life is falling apart, what really can you do other than fight through it? its really hard, i know, im battling exams right now, which i know may seem very small compared to whatever issue you're going through, and im sorry, but this is tearing me apart right now. i know that this is dumb, and in the future ill have bigger reasons to be torn apart, but currently this is me. anyway, youll be okay, since when did you not get past your hardships? failure is something that everyone experiences. even my smartest friend feels like a failure since shes chasing perfection in every aspect. and even though i look at her and think "what can she possibly be sad about?" im sure some people look at you and think the same way too. heck, some people might even look at me and think that, but we're all still sad and broken, arent we?
when you are upset or sad or angry, how do you cope? i wish i can see how other people deal with such annoying emotions, and learn from them if they're successful. I should be able to deal with stuff like stress and anxiety about the future and sadness, but honestly, i haven't been dealing with it well these past few days. I am crying a lot, and i think it is bc of hormones since im gonna get my period soon, but also because its exam week and i am so stressed out. I mean, what if i dont get accepted into univeristy and get a shot at what i want to become? what i want to become is so far-fetched for someone as mediocre as me, and if i do attempt to pursue it I KNOW i will face many more emotional roller coasters and uneccessary stress and despair like this... but if i dont, i might regret not chasing after my initial goals, and regret it? should i go after my dreams, even if i know i will die 1000 times, since i am not naturally smart? or should i be smart in another sense, and allow myself to get a steady mediocre job, and allow myself to avoid extra stress and sadness from pursuing my current aspiration? what should i do? how do you deal with these decisions? im so freaking young but i am such a worrier and this is so extra, and i am so extra and pretentious on here and i hate myself... okay no i take that back i mustn't hate myself, but like what do i do? how do you make your life decisions?
- speak more than one language
- is a vegetarian
- has a unique voice (super soft, girly, low, calming, pleasing to the ear, low, etc)
- is humorous
- is popular
- is pretty
- is smart/high achiever
- is a low achiever
- is ugly
- is tall
- is short
- has acne
- has red hair
- has white skin
- has yellow skin
- has clear face
- has black skin
- has a normal voice
- is human